South Side, Chicago’s History of Racial Segregation and Neighborhood Neglect Throughout the 1960s and 1990s
While growing up on the south side of Chicago, I paid no attention to my surroundings. I was very naive and playful as a child. Given that, I remembered walking with my mother in a neighborhood with trash on the streets, seeing men in blue or black hoodies with sagging pants, and hearing gunshots from afar. Still, I did not recognize the violence and neglect within the community until my early teen years.
Above the photo is Chicago Lawn's Marquette Park, the largest park on the city's southwest side. To understand why an urban city gets neglected and violent, we need to understand the root cause of it. I do think part of the problem has to do with dysfunctional families, but politicians and the history of Chicago are also big root causes.
According to one article, President Richard Nixon, who served from 1969 to 1974, argued that it was the urban cities' responsibility to deal with poverty and lack of employment on their own. While he was in office, urban cities’ parks were left unattended, sidewalks were dirty, and public places were not maintained. While this hurt young people in the years that followed, more residents had to depend on welfare, and homelessness and drug abuse became more common.
Martin Luther King Jr. spoke out against unfairness and inequality in the 1960s in the civil rights movement. In fact, on Aug. 5, 1966, he marched at Marquette Park on the south side of Chicago, protesting for housing equality. White residents attacked him and his protesters. King told reporters, “I have never seen, even in Mississippi and Alabama, mobs as hateful as I've seen here in Chicago."
During the 1980s, Ku Klux Klan (KKK) rallies were held at Marquette Park. Chicago Lawn residents who were children in the 1980s shared stories with me about how the KKK would chase black individuals or residents out of the area. After Mayor Harold Washtongian took office in 1983, most white residents relocated. Bernard Epton, Washington's opponent for mayor, used the slogan "before it's too late" in disguise to promote segregation among his white voters.
Reflecting back on my early years in the 2000s, one of my middle school teachers got frustrated and told my classmates and I, "You people don't want to rely on food stamps!" Now, as an adult, it was such an inappropriate comment for her to make in a classroom, given that we were the only students of color in a low-income area. I also remember a time when we all walked in a line to class after lunch in the first grade. Then, suddenly, we saw a historical teacher run inside the building and shout, "He has a gun!" That led us first graders to scream, flail our arms in the air, and run away with our short legs before our home teacher consoled us. The public school I went to was unmaintained and unclean in an unsafe area.
In conclusion, urban neighborhoods have struggled with neglect for decades since the 1960s. It contributes to violence, poverty, and false promises from local government officials that have led to neighborhood neglect. I do think it's important to know the history of the areas where we live in the city. Because after two months of research about this topic, I didn't know that my childhood park, Marquee Park, had a long history and was a battleground about race and division.
The Effects of Parenting Styles on Child Development and Neglect
Negligence can cause childhood trauma for anyone. Left-untreated childhood trauma can lead to substance abuse, addiction, high-risk activities, or psychological disorders, e.g., borderline, narcissistic, and adult attachment personality disorders.
According to data from Chicago's Department of Family and Support Services, for every 1,000 children aged 0 to 5, there were approximately six confirmed cases of abuse or neglect in 2019. Children can be neglected emotionally or physically in various ways.
Parental parenting influences a child's development. How we parent will determine how life on Earth develops in the future. There are four parenting styles: authoritative, authoritarian, permissive, and uninvolved.
The Four Parenting Styles:
Authoritarian Style: "Because I said so" parents are well-known to be authoritarian. Kids should be seen, not heard, according to them. They'll force rules on their children without negotiation. They tend not to take their children's feelings into consideration.
Authoritative Style: Authoritative parents explain their rules to their kids. They'd set limits, enforce rules, and punish, but take their child's feelings into consideration. They strive for a good relationship with their child by putting effort into creating and maintaining one. Experts agree that this is the best parenting style to raise a child, ensuring that your child will be successful and healthy in adulthood.
Permissive Style: It is common for permissive parents to make rules but not always enforce them. They don't punish their children very often or at all; they believe kids learn best without much interference. They're quick to forgive their child and often say, "Kids will be kids."
UnInvolved Style: These parents don't often ask about their kids' days or check on them. Parental figures rarely know where or who they are with their kids. They don't see their child much for various reasons (e.g., fathers who are at work more than being at home).
Love Addiction and the Impact of Neglect in Attachment Theory
This self-help book, Women Who Love Too Much ( I strongly recommend this book to read), speaks about women's struggles in maintaining a relationship. One of the highlights from it spoke about how a woman would typically choose to chase after a guy who is no good for them, for which there are several psychological reasons for that.
One psychological reason is that a lack of attention as a child, which can lead to trauma, can influence their partner's selection. Individuals who experienced abuse or neglect as children may never have experienced love in their adult lives. As a result, in some cases, they may choose to stay with an abusive partner out of fear of being alone or neglected. If a child was abused and neglected a lot as a child, they are more likely to tolerate abuse and neglect in toxic relationships in their teenage years or in their early twenties.
Being in love is like a drug addiction. Love addiction occurs when a person needs more love, support, and succor to cope. This can lead to an unhealthy relationship and a great obsession with one or more love interests. Love addicts prioritize their love interest’s happiness over their own. For constant approval, they may also depend on friends, social media, or their peers. Those with untreated childhood trauma who face frequent neglect in their childhood are more likely to tolerate the abuse and neglect in a toxic relationship.
"If you treat them like sh*t, they want you more"
"If you treat them like shit, they want you more" and "If you play hard to get, they want you more" are methods that have probably been told to you. After reading this book and doing research on the psychology behind those methods, I think they are almost dangerous and just plain wrong. Playing with people's emotions like a toy can lead to severe consequences.
The following consequences could result in them having a greater obsession: they are likely to engage in high-risk behaviors, e.g., breaking into their partner's home, texting or calling them excessively, stalking them, cyberstalking their social media accounts, threatening to harm themselves or their partner, etc.
Obsession is not love. Love can come in all shapes and forms. So if a friend, relative, or partner is emotionally hurting or neglecting you, you can care about them, but it's not your job to take care of them. Always respect how someone feels about you and accept it. Trying to change how someone feels about you by loving them too much is kind of selfish because you are not allowing them to feel how they want to feel.
Usually, when a loved one who hurts you walks out of your life and sees that you're happy and successful without them, they may begin to rethink about their behavior, or they may not think about it at all, which is okay. As long as you've overcome it and are making positive progress, that won't matter. You'd rather be alone than be with someone you consider a friend who secretly hates you.
A Brief Update and the Upcoming Blog Post
The goal of this November 30th blog post is to focus on neighborhood neglect and parenting neglect, as well as the consequences of both. Why? Because I'm going to write a blog entry about how traumatizing neglect can make people bad people in the next blog post. As an aspiring author, I want to get more proficient in journalism skills, research skills, writing skills, and storytelling skills.
Research is what fuels the imagination. Because whenever you write a story, I think you should do a lot—and I mean a lot—of research to come up with the plot, the character personalities, and the places where the story takes place. Be open-minded, and don't just think about what you're thinking by being close-minded. A closed mind will ruin a story. Open-mindedness creates success in a story. So I recommend studying sociology and psychology if you want to craft a good story.
The next blog post for December that I'm still working on mentions a little girl who was shot at and ran into the jungle to escape from the unknown world. She made it out alive after many nights, while others did not, and then told everyone about the danger she was in. She revealed a deadly secret. Reflecting on what that little girl went through and how long it took her to recover psychologically, I would say that going through a traumatic event is like getting hit by a truck. Healing is more about fighting negative thoughts and feelings that want to take over. Trauma effects can last months, years, or decades, but they can be treated.
Happiest holidays and New Year to all!
Spending days in healthcare facilities—I even slept in a car once—is a memory that has stuck with me since I was a teenager. From this experience, I hate being at hospitals because of the wait and uncertainty. I remember the days and I have to live with them. Still, I am determined to keep moving forward and find inner peace. [For all you newbies who stumble upon my blog from the internet and haven't seen my fabulous face yet, here's a sneak peek below. Thank you for reading, dawg ;p]
For several case studies, I read newspapers and magazines, interviewed people, listened to audio transcripts, and watched documentaries. I came across people who suffered trauma and would use it for good or evil in humanity. I also came across people who were struggling with their mental health and were looking for help but didn't know where to find it. Without treatment, some would put themselves in danger, e.g., depend on harsh drugs to relieve pain, use violence out of frustration, neglect personal needs, resort to terrorism, etc.
BTW, thanks to those who read this blog post. Because writing is work, researching, writing, editing, and publishing the article on my website would take several days. To share ideas or gain writing experience for publishing or journalism, I recommend starting a blog where you can post samples of your writing. Whoever you are, you attractive stranger, thanks for reading this. All, happy holidays and New Year! <3 Have fun, but don't have too much that you end up in the news!
P.S - 𝗚𝗼𝘁 𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘀? 𝗪𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲? 𝗦𝘁𝗮𝗿𝘁 𝗮 𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴. 𝗞𝗮𝗯𝗼𝗼𝗺! 𝗔 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 "𝘁𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗸 𝘆𝗼𝘂" 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗳𝗼𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗹𝗮𝗶𝗱 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘁𝗼 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗿𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗼𝘂𝘀.
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